Not only have I not got a mobile phone, I haven’t got a computer. I don’t employ any artificial intelligence of any kind. People say to me, ‘Oh, you should have a computer, they can do this, they can…’. I say, ‘I know how fuckin’ great they are, that’s why I, that’s the very reason I can’t have one.’ Y’know, oh, I’ll just watch a bit of Dion & The Belmonts, then I’ll go out. Oh, no, now what was that Elvis film? Oh, that reminds me, that Grace Kelly movie. I’ll just download this Marx Brothers clip. Y’know what I mean? I’d never get out of the fuckin’ house. I’d fuckin’ die. You’d find me dead with a pizza box, with me arse in the air and me pants round me ankles in front of a flickerin’ fuckin’ computer screen. ‘Oh, he never went out, we bought him that computer and he never went out again, never went through the fuckin’ door. The milk stopped bein’ delivered and he fuckin’ died.’
John Cooper Clarke, from Evidently John Cooper Clarke (BBC documentary)
